By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. 17. What do you mean Im still single. Because Im awkward and ugly. On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! My grandfather had a ton of these. but it's just so blunt and funny. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Dont get caught with nothing to say. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Congrats, guys! You speak as if youre not single yourself! I dont know. If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. 14. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Depends who you ask, if you ask me, it was fine. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. I could never tell when someones flirting with me or if theyre just being nice. . Funny and Clever Quotes About Mortality, Death, and Dying Now you can be! Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. Its going great, really! 33 very creative insults to intellectually insult someone with your sarcasm, How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts. Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? 60 of the Most Savage Responses People Received From Their Exes 26. It's all about confidence. All rights reserved. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. 3. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever After all, every single day that you're still alive is a good day overall. [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. The hottest single of the year is me. 55+ Coronavirus Memes Funny Coronavirus Memes - Parade: Entertainment I think I am doing alright. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. (Use a sexy tone). That's impossible. Whats with all these questions? Are you going to marry me? If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? Why would he text me "Are you still alive?"? - GirlsAskGuys How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. You might just find one. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. There are nosy people everywhere! 75. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. I just woke up like that one day. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. If I had a tail, I'd wag it. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. 66. Because they are already taking their time. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Plotting how Im going to take over the world. Impressive! You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. Not so much. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. She is a Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner from The Priority Academy and has over 17 years of experience in content writing and editing for online media. 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". 101 Savage, Good Comebacks for Every Witty, Funny or Rude - LovePanky The following two tabs change content below. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Because my milkshake doesnt bring boys to the yard. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Hi! However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. 8. Hence, you may need to put in some effort to keep the conversation flowing. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. 6. 74. Steven Wright (comedian). 85. It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? However, we wouldn't recommend you to overdone your sarcasm. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Your secrets are always safe with me. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Reply. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. My bad, its just your mouth. Instead of listening to your opinion, how about I put on some cartoons for you, and get you a juice box? Cookie Notice Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot Required fields are marked *. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. Like "I am not a Sunday morning inside four walls with clean blood and organized drawers. Try a Humorous Reply when Someone Asks "How Are You?" - All Women's Talk A little bit worse now that youve asked. Totally fine! 27. But, whats the likelihood of that happening? 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Copyright 2011 - 2023 IncNut Stylecraze Private Limited. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Its the same reason why I dont post pictures of myself. There's no reason why you should have to express emotions to whoever asked. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Don't Push It Too Far. Are you flirting with me right now? How did you get here? Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. You look tired. Is it your job to spread ignorance? All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. I plead the fifth. Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. So much better than most people. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Could have been worse, right. People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Being single is much better than being married. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. 45. The only thing offending me right now is your face. Thank you, it made my day. Just Smile And Nod and our Relationship expert Susan Winter recommends gracefully leaving as the quickest and easiest way out. Best "How Are You?" Answers. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. 91. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Its too small to be out there all alone. This is a good response to throw out there. "Hey You, I'm really good. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Youre a ground-hugger. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Just look what happened there! Do you have a minute? 1. (Wriggle your hips), Oh, stop it, will you? "You know I can do this anytime.". For your information, Im in a relationship with food. My only talent is not being in a relationship. 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. Still with us. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. I hope you are at your best too. 95+ Heartwarming Alive Jokes | buried alive, stayin alive jokes 75 Witty and Funny Responses to "How Are You?" - Box of Puns This one is good. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. The best I can be. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . funny response to are you still alive [Read: How to be a fun texter and make anyone laugh while reading your texts]. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. 39. 52. Is that a scar on your face? I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Living an amazing dream. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. upstart loan login; jim bell siloam mission salary; . Im in a relationship with myself. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. What? I only fall in love with anime characters. I'm overqualified! Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. 14. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? Despite not being the most popular topic of conversation, the concept of death has inspired quite a few clever and insightful sayings over the years. Another way to say Still Alive? Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Youre totally on the same page. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. Are you going to help me have a good day? 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. This one is a bit long. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Boom. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? *Siri activates front camera*. Congratulations, sir. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. 24. Ive had worse. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. 57. 83. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. Financially? Click here for additional information. Because if you are, youre doing it right. Physically? Use the opportunity to make a good impression. But half the time, it is a nightmare. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. I died last week, since then. We all grow up as we get older. 8. I like being single. But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. "Can't complain" is a normal response to the question, but by throwing in the following sentence, you should get a laugh. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 5. Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. *wink*. 2. I cant even afford to feed myself! When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. But it can be funny. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People I dont blame you, Ive had it up to my neck with annoying, repetitive, shallow everyday questions and I often respond with something funny, silly, or sarcastic to make it known. 42. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. How Am I Still Alive. You should really come with a warning label. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. 40. funny response to are you still alive 09 June 2022. no disease, including cancer, can exist in an alkaline environment / siberian husky mask types "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! Hopefully, youll stay there. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Youre not as bad as everyone says. Spiritually? Hanging on. Shane from The L Word? Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. Still Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY 4. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. It lets him know that you love spending time together. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. No one loves superheroes. Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! 7. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. Why do you ask? (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. 81. 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. 90. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? My guardian angel be like 2. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. 15. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade "If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. As for me, I cant even afford honey! 36. I'm alive! You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers.
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