The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand. But all are feel sad. To wich the farmer replies: "Does nobody in this house like boys"? When you buy through the links on our site we may earn a commission. Because all the jokes were very corny. A lawn-mooer. A farmer has a new handsome assistant. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Three friends go on a road trip when the car breaks down near a farm. Unhealthy? He tractor down. A New York City hipster moved to the country and bought a piece of land. Lets start with some funny one liners and puns. How diary! Thats a lot of chicks, commented the proprietor. Cow-moo-flauged. How did the farmer find his lost cow? Youre a fungi. Everyone loves great jokes, and when it's something interesting as funny agriculture jokes, it changes the way one looks at this difficult profession altogether. The farmer waits on the front porch for the dates to arrive, shotgun on hand. 22. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Because the farmers keep draining them dry. And what about the men? the minister asked. Spectators. Because the farmers keep draining them dry. "I'm lesbian". Decalfinated. The farmer and his three daughters. There are also farmers daughter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Thats fake moos! He tractor down. Every time he turns a corner, the tires squeal. If I can iron out a few problems., Problems? asked the proprietor. James Heaney Learn about This Multi-Talented Improv Artist, Athena Kugblenu Learn about This Amazing Comedian and Writer, Mark Smalls The Not So Small Stand-Up Comic from San Fran. Stable tennis. Just press the moo-te button. It turned into a field! The Best Ever Book of Farmer Jokes; Jokes For Farmers: Funny Farming Jokes, Puns and Stories . There are just too many play-on-words not to have a bunch of cow puns at your disposal at the next eventhopefully on a farm. A week later the hipster was back again. The first man to ring the doorbell greets the farmer with, "Hi, my names Joe. A newer variant of the joke cycle compares different peoples and countries. The priest replies: "Get out. And Sally says, "Why don't you, John? The farmer is sitting at the dinner table enjoying his meal. What do you use to count cows? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. He moves on. If you can remember the name of every cow on your farm but the names of your children elude you. "That's very sensible, sir." Three weeks later, the reply comes back, saying simply, Please send soil sample., Related: The Funniest Jokes about Chickens. Why did the cow cross the road? For him, struggle is over. Pork chops. 37. Who looks after the farm when the farmer is sick? What do you call a happy farmer? In the second riddle (which sounds like it makes no logical sense), the question (when spoken) is actually "A farmer has 30 cows, and 20 ate chickens." So if there were 30, and 20 of them ate chickens, 10 didn't. So there you go. The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. 26. 1. Clem: "Ye-up. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" Sorry, I made a mis-steak. We're gonna go eat some spaghetti. George A. Henninger, "In Defense of Dictionaries and Definitions". 25. Moo-guls. So, feel free to establish relationships and build lasting friendships. Koy firmly believes that Comedy is a great unifier. "Must be a dog." * Man car break down near house of farmer. Betty left with Freddy. Without you, Ill never be whole milk again! The farmer says, "You can spend the night but you'll have to share a room with my daughter." The daughter, a gorgeous 20-something, winks at him over her father's shoulder. Cowgo who? S3, Ep8. If youve ever gotten an award for fat (and were proud of it). Farmers are the punchline of so many jokes. after getting her head stuck in a fly-tipped washing machine drum. Without further ado, we present some of the funniest farmer jokes. What is a cows favorite newspaper? The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. "Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me." What did the Idaho farmer plant when he was not sure if he was going to sell the crop? Where do farmer's kids go to grow up? What do you call a cow that doesnt give milk? "Mom, where is popcorn?". He kicks one. The farmer shot chuck. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. And the farmer shoots him. What math problems do cows like to solve? No. Their hides are so thick. To get to the udder side. Boy, you are serious about this chicken farming, the man told him. 3. John and Sally put the bull and the cow in the same pasture and sit on the back porch and watch as nature takes its course. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. They grow moostaches. Mos-cow. A man was driving for hours through desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat* he flattened the cat. Quackers and milk. The second suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi my name's Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna get some spaghetti, is she ready?" We have jokes for practically every occasion - visit the Joke Generator if you don't believe us! A cow will drink milk because it is rich in nutrients. To get some re-hoove-ination. Bartender say, Why so long face? The old farmer said, Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so Id nod my head in agreement.. What did Donald Trump tell the cow? Why are people jealous of agriculture majors? After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. Mooooolasses. 10 Sadistic Cat-and-Mouse Games Narcissists And Psychopaths Play, 21 Morgue Workers Share Their Worst Of Stories, If You Hear These 30 Phrases, Take Them As Red Flags, 90+ Easter Trivia Questions About The Holiday, 120+ Batman Trivia Questions For Superfans. To a moo-seum. The farmer shot Chuck. Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. "That's macabre. At the calf-eteria. The economics of the Enron scandal have been a target of the "two cows" joke, often describing the accounting fraud that took place in Enron's finances. Seven more years pass. Please stop, or else were gonna have some beef. asked Trump He wanted to make his farmland rich. What do cows read in the morning to get their news? What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? "Hello, my name is Chuck." The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week plus free room and board. Plowing, planting, harvesting, feeding, and taking care of animals is what a farmer spends his life doing. Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? Plow through these farmer related jokes to have a quacking time. Udder nonsense. Stomache..stomuck. A farmer goes into a farm supply store and orders two hundred chicks, explaining to the owner that he wants to start a chicken farm. # 13 Why do cows were bells? What did the cow say about the farmers bad outfit? Crop yield. Give a cold cow a pogo stick. Itgoes in one earand out the udder! "It's in case I get shot. Hot stuff! Its pasture bedtime!. Well, replied old John, Theres my ranch hand whos been with me for 3 years. When you cross two ducks and a cow, what do you get? ", 42. Why did the farmers plow their field with a steamroller? Right where you left it. Why did the calf cry at school? Let 'c' represent the number of cows the farmer has. Because the cow has the udder. What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man. What did the cow say when someone told her a lie? One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. Whats it called when a tractor waits for a pedestrian to cross? As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. # 11 Why don't cows understand what you say? The farmer arrives at the barn, and notices the 3 sacks. Reply . If your backyard ends at an electric fence. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby. And the farmer shot him. Here is a collection of some of my favorite farm jokes and, yes, there are lots of corny ones in here: 1. Top 10 Farm Jokes - Jokes4all.net Guy knocks on the door and says "Hi I'm Joe. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because that would be a great idea because they have never been there before. "Hall'n Oates.". 6. What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught? You have two cows - Wikipedia 23. Have you seen all jokes? What is the harvester's favorite music artist? Why did the cow jump over the moon? They were all pro-tractors. What would one witch say to the other at the harvest festival? Why doesn't a farmer talk about jokes in front of a cow? But bread have worm. I mean business, the city slicker replied. A farmer wants to meet his daughters boyfriend before their date a few minutes later the doorbell rings the boy at the door says my name is Joe I'm here for Flo we are going to the show is she ready to go, later the door rings again and another boy says my name is Eddie I'm here for Betty we are going to eat spaghetti is she ready again a boy rings the doorbell and he says my name is Tucker and I'm here to and the farmer shot the boy dead immediately. [3], Jokes of this genre formed the base of a monologue by American comedian Pat Paulsen on The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in the late 1960s. How did the farmer find the cow? Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? The third suitor arrived and the farmer answered the door: "Hi my name's Chuck" and the farmer shot him. If your idea of a power lunch is a sandwich on a tractor. Zo? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears. Oh! Dont mooooooove a moo-scle. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator. Actually chuck was the new neighbor and just want it to borrow his truck. This gives John ideas so he turns to Sally and says, "I sure wish I was doing that". Why is it so hard to hurt a cows feelings? This does not influence our choices. Here are some more funny cow jokes: The cow jokes arent done yet. Share: Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Click to print (Opens in new window) 17 Cows Riddle. Using milk from a holey cow. I dont really know about you, but Im Fresian.. A farmer has three daughters and on the same night theyre all going out with different guys the doorbell rings and the farmer answers the door with a shotgun for intimidation, The first guy says hey im joe im here for flo were going to the show is she ready to go?, The farmer liked this man and he let him go then the doorbell rang again and the farmer answered with the shotgun again, The next guy said hey Im eddie im here for betty were getting spaghetti do you know if shes ready?, The farmer liked him and let him go then the doorbell rang for a third time and he answered with the shotgun. The farmer and his three daughters : r/Jokes - reddit What do you call a sleeping bull? 2023 Inspirationfeed. Bubba and Clem kicking back on their porch, wearing their overalls, chewing on a piece of grass. They nod and send him away. The farmer shot Chuck. What Do Cows Drink Joke? | Skits O Mania The driver replies, "I'm president Donald Trump's driver, and I just killed the pig.". Arguably, cow jokes take the cake (or milk). Baaaa-dminton. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement. The watchdog. 50 Cow Jokes That Are Udderly Hilarious | Reader's Digest We're going to see the show. Yeah, replied the hipster, I think I planted that last batch too close together.. Find farmer daughter in barn. The Farmer Wants a Wife - Season 3 - IMDb Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Trump told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. But TOO LATE! Want to share the hilarity with others (or just want to go all-in on the Dad Jokes)? A while later the last date shows up and says "Sup man, I'm Chuck" Whats the quietest animal on a farm? Because they lactose! He thought the mooooon was calling to him. Horrified, the man runs across the street to another house. i posted this a little while ago, but i'm glad you enjoy it too. 4. Finale. Michelle Miller, the Farm Babe, is an Iowa-based farmer, public speaker, and writer, who lives and works with her boyfriend on their farm, which consists of row crops, beef cattle, and sheep. AMilk Dud. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh. At the garden gate the farmer sees that the roads are muddy and realizes that he forgot his rubber boots (Wellingtons for the Brits ;) A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The farmer thinks he will say this -- "Hi my name's Chuck, I'm here for the girl who makes the face of a duck, if I'm in luck I'll smack her buttock when we fuck or perhaps she'll just suck until I shoot schmuck, how strong's her stomach? "Hi, my names Joe, I'm here for Flo, we are going to the show, is she ready too go?" The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him. Because its in Moo York City. 1. What does the farmer refer to his next-door horse as? What does he look like?. The classic farmer's daughter clich, of course, is the old joke about the wanton and nave daughter, taken advantage of by a traveling salesman or some other wanderer, who is subsequently chased off by a farmer with a shotgun. Plus, they provide delicious milk for us! 8. 2. If your idea of overnite delivery is pulling a calf at three in the morning. Beano Jokes Team Last Updated: December 22nd 2021 Come on down the farm and get ready for some very punny farm jokes! What do you call a cow on a diet? The farmer lets them stay the night only under one condition.Facebook :https://www.facebook.com/Kennys-Jokes-Collection-103448331090476Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrN-I8X2w-sQk0FoSId2Ibg#farmer #3daughters #joke #funny #standupcomedy #actor #jokes #comedyshow #humor #standup #comedians #lol #fun #standupcomedian #funnyvideos #memes #laugh #comedyclub #music #hilarious #like #funnymemes #follow #comedyvideos #haha #worldstar #shortfunny jokes #jokes that make you laugh so hardCredit for images and clips used in this video:This presentation contains images that were used under a Creative Commons License. Why couldnt the two cows get along? He tractor down! Why do cows wear bells around their necks? What do you call a sleeping bull? I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them, demanded the agent. A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck" and the farmer shoots him. 27. 2. Ag on Instagram: The best farm photos from March 3, 2023, Baby food brand is rooted in owners Navajo heritage, Ag on Instagram: The best farm photos from March 2, 2023, This Louisiana plantation seems to trap the souls of centuries past, 5 TikTok influencers in agriculture to follow right now, Inflammatory? The Montana Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his workers and sent an agent out to interview him. 35. 1 Apr. What do cows put on french toast? The first beau came to the door and said, "I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. Their horns dont work. The six farmers from the current series then reveal which people they chose to meet on their city visits, and how things have . Wow! I have made a terrible miss-steak.". Please stop, or else were gonna have some beef. Because they lactose. Its pasture bedtime. Is she ready to go?" What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? The first date shows up and says "Hello sir, I'm Eddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna go get some spaghetti, is she ready?".